Bad Glacier

Item number one in Jeremy’s list of advice for 0Ls says, “Come up with a neat little 90-second answer to the question, ‘Why are you in law school?’ ” That sounds like good advice. (Never mind why people ask the question. Just know they’re going to.)

In reality, I decided to go to law school because it looked interesting. I wanted to do something that would have an impact on people’s lives. Computer science wasn’t doing that. I wasn’t good enough to do the cool stuff; I could see myself getting stuck in a rut, writing code that thousands of programmers have written before for a program that no one cares about. And I didn’t want that. Law, at the very least, provides a service that is needed and an opportunity to change things for the better (for your client, if no one else).

But what the hell kind of an answer is that? “It looked interesting and I want to help people.” I’ma get my ass kicked if I actually say that to someone. So I’ve been kicking around a few other answers to the “Why are you in law school?” question:

• “I want to be able to defend myself in traffic court.”
• “My great-grandfather was a lawyer, my grandfather was a lawyer, and my father robs banks.”
• “I hate having free time.”
• “You mean this isn’t the support group meeting?”
• “You know how they say not to fill out multiple-choice tests ‘ABACADABA’? They’re totally full of shit.”
• “I’m bangin’ the admissions office.”
• “Those statutory rape laws are tricky.”
• “To Kill a Mockingbird. I wanna sue the jackass that wrote that damned book.”
• “You know what they say about lawyers: the only thing bigger than their bills is… well, you see where I’m going with this one. Lawyers have large houses.”
• “Do you have any idea how much ass John Paul Stevens gets?”
• “My brother double-dared me.”
• “I want a pair of these golden handcuffs I keep hearing about. Also, maybe a golden whip and some golden nipple clamps.”
• “I’m sure as hell not going to waste those four years of Latin!”
• “I can’t stand the sight of blood, so Clown College wouldn’t take me.”
• “I want to make the world a better place, and I figure the best way to do that is to defend large corporations for 30 years and then donate a few bucks to the ACLU after I retire.”
• “Whales. Effin’ whales.”

This entry was posted on Friday, June 10th, 2005 at 1:10 pm and is filed under General, Applying to Law School. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.